


Taz fic things

by BlueMoonHound



Series: Lucretia [14]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociation, Drabbles, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Multi, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, drunken bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-11 22:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonHound/pseuds/BlueMoonHound
Summary: A collection of -I have been informed that these are not drabbles, hah- I write while I work on Belladonna.Feel free to request drabbles in the comments or on tumblr (I'm Bluemoonhound) !1: Lucretia hits her head (angst centric.)2: Istus, Raven, and Lucretia go to a bar (silly/fluff centric.)3: Lucretia forgets. (angst centric.)4: Taako sets up a meeting (Angst centric.)





	1. Lucretia hits her head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ships: Blupcretia.  
> Characters: Lucy, Barry, Lup, Taako.  
> No Halo universe. Postcanon(both for taz itself and No Halo.)  
> angsty hurt/comfort. Title is self-explanatory I feel :p  
> around 800 words.

Lucretia's knees hit the deck.

She shudders. The world rocks around her, and – she thinks she's fine. She's running a diagnostic on all her Lucretia settings and coming up with static, with nothing. With the Bulwark staff, which clatters to the ground next to her. She blinks, trying to perceive. Trying to ground herself with anything. She's, she's on a deck. On the deck of a ship. Is she alive? Is she dead? She reaches out for some thought to hold onto and lands on cycle sixty five.

There's a person in front of her; she can't quite see them. She knows they're there, she knows they're talking in a frantic voice, not touching her – are they scared of her? She blinks, trying to focus. The world rocks, and she's not sure if she's dizzy or if the world is actually swaying. Maybe it's both. She's on a boat. There's wooden boards under her knees, not metal ones. She doesn't know the boat.

Has she been alone? She can't remember. She struggles through the glitching fog, reaching for literally anything. A hand touches her skin, her face, and the world hiccups, righting itself like a scratched CD clipping past the glitched bit. It's still off, little bits of static cling to everything, and the video is offset, chasing itself around the edges of the screen. But she's there.

“Lucretia.”

She's still struggling to focus, to be on the right frequency to communicate. At least she can hear them, now. She blinks at Barry, his face contorted with worry, shifted by the fog that still swirls within her. Where are they? She blinks again.

“We're on Dav's old ship, Lucretia, remember? There was – we're fine, you didn't have to do that.”

“What?” She must have been talking before. Her mouth makes words like a typewriter puts down letters on a piece of paper.

“Did she hit her head?” she hears another voice. “Oh shit.” Another hand, this one in her hair. She flinches in surprise and the world jolts around her. Barry catches her and she hiccups into his shoulder.

“Hey. It's just Lup.” Barry rubs her back. She weaves her arms around his body and sinks into the fabric of his shirt. It's soft, because he's been wearing it every day for years and years. She wants nothing more than to become part of the fabric, to sink into the cloth and cease to exist.

“She did,” Lup says. “Lucy, babe, you're bleeding.”

Funny, because she's not in pain. She curls her fingers in Barry's shirt.

“Should we take her belowdecks? Lucretia, are you good? Can you stand?”

Lucretia doesn't know how to answer them. The world is getting foggy again, distant. She can still hear their voices this time, though, which is good.

“Taako, can you man the ship?”

A shout.

“Alright, hey, you got her, right?” Arms under her legs. She moans and grips Barry tighter. She's hefted against his chest. The world shudders and shakes and bounces and moves and oh- now she feels the pain. It ricochets down her spine.

She's pretty sure she cries out because now the world is still again, or at least mostly still, and Barry's brushing tears from her face. Are they sitting in a stairwell? She thinks so. The world is white around the edges.

“Do you think it's --”

“I'm pretty sure she's immortal, I don't know that this'll kill her, I mean, she's pretty incredible as it is, but I don't want her to be in pain, you know?” Something stings on her head. She feels a bead of cold roll down her neck. Something else wipes it away. “She's not really bleeding anymore,” the voice adds.

“Do you think she's even conscious? I mean, she was before, but shes not responsive anymore--”

Her brain is swirling. They care about whether she lives or dies, they care about whether she's hurting. They're – she's hurt them so much, she tore them apart for twelve whole years, it feels like nothing, now-- nothing compared to centuries, she's been alive too long. It doesn't hit her often, because she's learned to live with it, to just survive the way she always has, but when it does it hits her like a freight train. She hiccups on a sob, one that rattles her frame. Barry's hand is on her face again, shushing her, telling her it'll be okay. She wonders if they really think that.

They must make it down the stairs at some point, because there's a gap in her memory and then they're at the bottom, the world swaying gently again. She's lying down. The solid pressure from the bed grounds her in the real, though, to be honest, she'd rather be in the unreal again, because her head throbs. She whimpers, and Barry presses against her side.

Lup's there, too, she realizes. They're curled around her body, holding close to her form. She takes a deep breath, then another. She counts seconds. She feels Lup breathing against her, and slowly but surely, the world falls away.


	2. Istus, Raven, and Lucretia go to a bar(and get smashed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ships: istus/raven queen/lucretia  
> Characters: Istus, the raven queen, lucretia  
> No Halo universe. Postcanon(both for taz itself and No Halo.)  
> fluffy kinda loose silly fic with some angst elements.   
> around 1200 words.

Going to the bar with her girlfriends is always a snap decision but never a bad decision, Lucretia finds. She decided to pocket some vodka before leaving the house today.

It takes a lot more alcohol to get a god drunk than a human, but thankfully not so much more as to be inordinately expensive. “We've just had time to get our constitution through the roof,” Raven says, swallowing her fifth shot of gin. Istus is giggling against her breast, having drunk about a bottle of peach schnapps already. Istus just does not pause for anyone.

Lucretia orders a glass of wine, and slips some vodka into her cup. Look sophisticated, get drunk fast technique.

“Just wine, Lucy?”

“Wine,” Lucretia grins, taking a swig. It burns a little more than wine ought to going down, but otherwise just tastes like wine. Also known as: it's the perfect beverage.

Raven's a quiet drunk, an introspective drunk, kind of like Lucretia but less depressed, but that doesn't stop her from caving into Istus's playful fawning. They don't quite land on the floor, but Raven manages to mess up Istus's hair quite a bit and they take up more barstools than two people really ought to. No one's telling them to stop-- they give off that aura, the one that makes mortals shirk away or ignore their antics.

Lucretia doesn't have that aura, but then again, she's just sitting there drinking wine and sitting next to them. By the end of her first glass, she's pleasantly tipsy. She leans back against the counter and enjoys the sensation as best she can. A large part of her wants to be drunk, but she also knows what she's like when she's drunk, and it's not that much fun for anyone.

She gets a second drink and pours three shots of vodka into it. She leans over to Raven and strokes her hair, gathering her ringlets away from her face and braiding them.

“Braiding death's hair,” she mumbles into Raven's ear. Raven breaks from another sloppy Istus kiss with a wet smack.

“Mmmthat's uh, Taako's line,” she mumbles. “I'm not death, I'm just, uhh, death. God.”

“Right.” Lucretia kisses her bare shoulderblade. “Death girl.” She ties the braid off with a flourish.

“Stop making her talk, I can't kiss her when she's talking!” Istus complains. Her words slur together and slide out of her mouth like cream.

“Mmm,” Lucretia says, filling her mouth with wine. “You sure you don't wanna taste this?”

Istus slides into Raven's lap so she can reach Lucretia and kisses her hungrily. Istus's mouth tastes like schnapps and the aftertaste of tea that always lingers around her. Lucretia never could get her to drink Kombucha, though. She says it's a plague against the right wonder which is a hot cup of tea.

“Heeyyy,” Raven complains. “Come on. I thought this was my gig.”

“I invited you all,” Istus complains. She faceplants into Raven's crotch. Raven squawks and grabs her under the shoulders, pulling her up till she's actually sitting on her. Lucretia finishes her second wine-and-vodka. She waves for the bartender.

“Nomther wine, please,” Lucretia says, inadvertently slurring. She'd worked so hard to keep from doing that on the moonbase, when it was her job to be as professional as possible, but she's just a little bit too far gone to stop herself.

Istus pulls off Raven's face for a moment to look at her. “Luuuucy did you just slur? I thought you were drinking wine!”

Lucretia takes the wine from the bartender and pulls out her bottle of vodka, staring at Istus while she pours the remainder of the container into her cup. Istus's eyes widen.

“Drink game too strong.”

Lucretia giggles and shotguns the glass. It's starting to make her tired but at least she's as drunk as her girlfriends are, now. She leans her head against Raven's shoulder.

“I mean,” Raven says, taking the second bottle of peach schnapps off the bar, “I mean.” She drinks straight from the container. “Sure, right?”

“Gimme some of that,” Istus makes grabby hands.

“Mmmm but you've had so much!”

“I can hold my liquor!”

“But if you drink it I can't have as much!”

“Nyeh!”

Lucretia sighs and scoots her barstool closer to Istus and Raven, content to let them bicker. She feels a little out of place with them most of the time. After all, they've existed since long before she came into being, and she's not even a native to their system. Raven's cool, though, and her muscles move gently under her skin as she moves, and it's relaxing. She closes her eyes.

“I think Lucy's done,” Istus says, somewhere above her. “Have you tried the schnapps?”

“Mngh.”

“Fair.” She hears the bottle emptying, presumably into someones mouth.

“Hey!”

“Your mouth was open, youshoulddve seen it coming!”

“Scuse you?”

A shuffling. Raven's body jolts.

It's quiet for a while. Well, it's not quiet. The bar is noisy just on principle, even mostly empty as it is. Some fan blows white noise into the air. It puts Lucretia on edge, a bit, and she wiggles further into Raven's side.

“Think we should go home?”

“Mmgnghn no, I don' wanna stop.”

“We can take the shapps with us, dummy. We bought it.”

“Mokay tru.”

A hand shakes her shoulder. “Lucy? You awake?”

“Mnhm.” Lucretia opens her eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey. We're leaving. Can you walk?”

“Only one way to find out.” Lucretia hops down off her barstool, wobbles a little, but manages to stay upright. “Ohey.”

“Good, because Istus can't.” Raven grumbles. She has Istus slung over her shoulder. She opens a rift, stepping through it. Lucretia stumbles after her. The portal led right into their bedroom, thank every possible deity, because Lucretia kinda just wants to fall over.

“Oh, but now we're almost out!” Istus says.

“Maybe if you hadn't spent so much time stalling, we wouldn't be,” Raven says. “Want some, Lucy?”

“M, sure,” Lucretia accepts the proffered bottle. She doesn't finish it, but she drinks enough to make Istus whine. She'll thank her in the morning, she knows. (Not that Lucretia will be thanking herself for that.) “Should get some water. Be back.”

“Good idea,” Raven says. “Don't have a moment in the bathroom, we lvoe you.”

“Mhm.” She goes to the kitchen instead, because her brain isn't quite parsing what Raven means by that and decides the answer is not visiting the bathroom. There's more glasses in the kitchen, anyway. She realizes glasses don't have handles and decides to use mugs instead. Yeah.

Istus and Raven are snogging again when she gets back to their bedroom. She stands in the doorway, feeling like an intruder, and sips her water as quietly as she can.

“Waaaater,” Raven says, reaching for Lucretia around Istus, who decides to be interested in her breasts. “Yea. Gimme.”

Lucretia walks into the room and hands Raven a water, putting the other on the bedside table. She climbs onto the bed and sits against the headboard on the far side. She puts it aside after a little while and climbs under the covers. She feels small.

“Hey lucy, are you hiding?” Big warm arms wrap around her. “I'm gonna hide with you.

“Mkay.”

She's good. Lucretia lets herself sink into the mattress, and into Istus's arms.


	3. Lucretia Forgets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ships: no important ships.  
> Characters: Lucy, Lup, Taako, Kravitz.  
> No Halo universe. Postcanon(both for taz itself and No Halo.)  
> angsty hurt/comfort.   
> around 1600 words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> , not sorry. Enjoy!  
> Appropriate listening: Forget Me Not by Floex

Lucretia licks her lips. For some reason, she's lying on a couch, her feet in Taako's lap. There's an unfamiliar ceiling above her. She blinks sleep out of her eyes and looks around the room. Still unfamiliar. Hm.

“Where am I?” She pauses, considering the possibilities. “Did you take me planetside while I was sleeping?”

“Lucy, this is your house,” Taako chuckles, his voice a little higher than usual. She props herself up on her elbows to get a good look at him. He's wearing a crinkly glamour and he looks older than she remembers. This cycle must have done a number on him. How long has she been asleep? Did something happen?

“I don't have a house.”

“Uh, yea you do, you fucking made this house,” Taako says. “Lucy, babe, you've had this house for like a hundred years.” He frowns and puts his book down. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.” She sits up and rubs her aching temples. She will be fine, once she has some coffee. “Where's the kitchen?” Her knees hurt awfully, and her back. What has she been doing? She feels like she's _sixty_.

“O-over there? Are you sure--?” he half-stands, as if to follow her.

“Taako, we've been living in the same ship together for like thirty years. I can make my own coffee and you know it.”

“Lucy, we've been living in the same _house_ together for longer than thirty years.” He's on his feet entirely now. “Lucretia. Lucretia, do you not remember – we defeated the hunger and, well,” He stops short. “Don't you-- you can't forget that, _Lucy_ \--”

He's shaking a little.

“What do you mean?” She can feel a crease in her forehead. She lifts her hand again and catches sight of it. It looks wrong. Older. Her skin is supposed to be smooth, right? Since when did she have a scar running over her knuckles? “What?”

“Lucy. Did you forget-- Do you know who Madam Director is?”

“No?”

“Oh-- Oh gods,” Taako breathes. He's trembling in earnest. “Oh fuck, how – what am I supposed to – fuck fuck fuck!”

“Taako, what's wrong? Did I get hit by a spell? Did something happen while I was asleep?”

“No you just fell asleep and it was fine you weren't even acting strange – I mean, you always have nightmares, yeah? I wasn't--” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I'm calling Lup. And. And Krav. And. Fuck.” He pulls out a – is that a stone of farspeech? It's not the ones they have on the ship, that's for sure.

“Why is my hand so old?” She asks, while Taako's fiddling with his farspeech frequency.

“Go look in a mirror,” Taako grumbles.

“O-okay.”

She goes down the hall, opening doors – there's a room which looks like a goth version of Taako's bedazzled, bright fashion sense. A skirt is on the floor and a suit laying neatly over the unmade bright violet bed. She closes the door. Not the bathroom.

The next door she opens is a plain bedroom with a glowing staff in it that whispers. There's books on the shelf, rows and rows of old, tomelike notebooks. Over a hundred of them, some of them thin and others stuffed to overfilling. The bed is blue and neatly made. She takes a further step in – it's not the bathroom, but it feels like somewhere she'd want to stay. She gets an overwhelming feeling that someone created this room just for her. The staff is bothering her, though. She closes the door behind her anyway and heads towards the mirror over the bureau.

She's old.

She leans over the bureau. She's old and skinny, her collarbone prominent where it connects to her shoulders, which are covered in lean, taught muscle. Her face is covered in wrinkles. There's a prominent scar across her forehead and another on her neck, running down under her shirt. The bags under her eyes are deeper than usual and she has laugh lines and crows feet. Her hair has bright silver streaks in it, barely noticeable against the blonde. What did Taako say about a hundred years? How is she still alive if it's been that long? She grips the edge of the dresser and stares at nothing in particular.

She hears a frightful tearing noise from the other room and jumps, rushing back out into the hallway. Her legs protest her moving that fast and she puts a hand on the wall to stop from falling over in surprise. She looks up just in time to spot a frightful, skeletal figure, before the face of the reaper reforms and it's – its fucking Lup, looking just the same as ever.

“You're a _reaper_?” Lucretia rasps. Her head is spinning in circles now. It aches.

“Oh my lady, you weren't kidding,” another reaper says, a shorter half-elf man in a fresh suit.

Lup rushes over to her. “Lucy, babe, what do you remember?”

“What cycle is it?” Lucretia asks. The world is starting to fragment. She can't get as much air as she'd like to be getting and her head is splitting open.

“Ninety-nine? There aren't any more cycles, Lu.”

Lup only uses that pet name when something's really bad, Lucretia recalls. “I thought it was cycle thirty-four,” she says. “Where am I?” The splitting pain is starting to make it too hard to think clearly. Taako told her where she is, right? She's at her house. She has a house? She's pretty sure Lup is saying something else but the world is pitching steadily into a blinding darkness.

 

She knows something was wrong because she wakes up with both elves curled around her, and a searing headache. She wants to just lie on the bed and smell Lup's hair and not consider what happened yesterday, or earlier, or whatever goddamn time it is. Unfortunately, she can't keep from groaning in pain when her head throbs especially badly, and she can feel an elf-ear twitch somewhere, aware of the sound.

“I think she's awake,” Taako's melodic voice says, quiet, and his arms tighten around her just a little bit.

“Lu? You okay?”

She's calling her Lu. Something very bad definitely happened. She does appear to be in her own bed, though. The bedsheets are right.

“Head hurts,” she grumbles. “What happened?”

“You, ah,” Taako swallows. She's getting more red flags from this situation by the second.

“You forgot, babe,” Lup says. “You forgot the bureau, and story and song. And half the century?”

“Really?” Lucretia's voice is a squeak. “But I don't--” She sucks in a breath when her head throbs again. “My head hurts,” she whines into Lup's chest.

“I'll get some tylenol,” Taako announces, and his arms unlace from her body, his warmth leaving her back. She shudders at the temperature and buries her face in Lup's sternum.

“It's okay, babe,” Lup says. She pets her hair with long, elven fingers. “Dunno why that happened but brains are weirdos. And it's not like all that shit wasn't bad for you too.”

“Mngh.” She saw how Taako reacted to all this. It's no good. She just hurts her friends more every second she continues to exist. The fingers in her hair feel good, though, and she doesn't have the energy to argue about the morality of her continued existence.

Taako comes back with some tylenol and Lup helps lucretia sit up. She almost whites out, the pain is so bad, but she takes a few steadying breaths and lets Lup drop two pills into her mouth. She can't hold the glass, either. It's fine. She manages to take her medicine and slumps against Lup's shoulder.

“You're fuckin wrecked on this fine morning,” Taako says, and she thinks there might even be some pity in his voice.

“Is it morning?” Lucretia manages.

“Yeah, you were asleep for a while.”

“Mngh.” She thinks she might like to do some more of that. The world spins and tips slowly around her. “Can I lie down again?”

“Yeah, of course.” Lup helps her slide back til at least half of her surface area is touching the bed. She shoves her face into a pillow and breathes, just focuses on breathing.

Consciousness slips on and off for a little while, before the tylenol kicks in. It's not much help, but it's something. Around an hour after she woke up Lucretia feels well enough to prop herself up.

“I'm hungry,” she says. She's a little nauseous from the pain still but she thinks she can eat some crackers, maybe.

“I don't think Taako is gonna bring you breakfast in bed,” Lup says. “You gave him a real startle with your forgetting trick there. You know how forgetting is.”

“Nhuh, oh, oh shit,” Lucretia says, her voice a little hoarse. “I didn't mean to--”

“You may be a brilliant actress, Lucy, but we all know what it looks like when you're pretending. Especially Taakles.”

“Sssssstill.” Lucretia flops back against the pillow, sending a little shock of pain through her temples. She'd put her pain at about a five right now, out of ten. “Can you get me my staff? I can get my own food.”

Lup brings her staff over and Lucretia scootches off the bed, leaning against it for a moment before walking, fairly steadily, into the main rooms of the house. Taako is sitting on the couch again, this time snuggled against Kravitz. She gives him a wave and, feeling rather ashamed, fetches a sleeve of Saltines from the box on the top shelf. She sits at the island with a cup of water and eats the whole sleeve. She puts her head down on the table, because it's cool. A few minutes later, she hears hushed voices from the living room.

“Is she going to be okay?” Kravitz says.

“She's remembered everything just fine as far as I can tell,” Taako says. “She's strong. Stop worrying, bone boy.”

She falls asleep on the counter.

 


	4. Taako sets up a meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ships: Gen  
> Characters: Lucretia, Taako  
> Essentially not postcanon. Just after Story and Song, before everyone gets their life together.   
> angsty hurt, self-harm and shit... You have been warned.   
> around 480 words. Actually drabble length for once

He set up a meeting.

Lucretia had put it on her calendar, told herself that she wasn't going to stop him from doing whatever he wanted, taking whatever he wanted. Taako's fury doesn't burn the way Davenport's does, usually, but-- what she did was inexcusable, and she's not going to let herself be excused.

He probably wants to hurt her. She can think of a million ways he could hurt her.

She sits straight, folds her hands on the desk, and waits for Taako to arrive.

She imagines -

_He slams the fucking door open, firing a – something – right at her, knocking her out of the chair and back against the wall. She coughs, curled into herself. Taako vaults over the desk and kicks her in the head. Lucretia sees stars._

She digs her fingers into her wrist, pushing till they draw blood. She rakes them down, pulling back the skin. She wants to cry. She doesn't let herself. The pain makes her float in a way she doesn't want to be floating. She needs to feel it, not distance herself from it. She needs to be here, she needs to be real, she needs to feel _pain_.

_She doesn't fight back. Slumps against the floor and waits, head and chest aching with pain. A boot connects with her stomach and she coughs with a greater intensity. Hands are on her shoulders, dragging her up against the wall. Her head connects with the bottom of the picture frame containing that one fucking painting –_

She hates that painting. She'll take herself out of the painting eventually. Lucretia slams her head down on the desk over and over till she's too woozy to keep doing it. Her head doesn't hurt, though, it just- it's numb, everything's numb. She hates the numb feeling. She _hates_ it.

Fuck.

She can't let Taako see her like this. He'll pity her. He'll try to help her, and she doesn't deserve that. She gets up on unsteady legs and cleans the gashes on her arm, wrapping them in bandages. She rolls her sleeve down all the way and takes a deep breath. She fishes concealer out of a drawer and covers up the blooming bruise on her forehead. Then she goes back out to her office.

Taako's standing in the entrance. She stops herself from flinching. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be gone when you--”

“No, it's fine, I'm early,” Taako says. He pulls up the guest chair and slumps down. “I just want you to take my goddamn bracer off.”

“Is that- is that all?” She can feel a little hysterical giggle bubble up in her chest.

“Yeah. You don't deserve my time a' day.”

“O-oh,” she says. She taps her staff on the floor and the bracer comes falling off. Taako rubs his wrist, stands back up, and leaves.

Of course she doesn't.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm venting today. I feel like Shite mfriends


End file.
